I’ve always dealt with things on my own.  Why would I talk to someone? 

Throughout life we are faced with problems, pain, various challenges, difficult decisions, and overwhelming stress.  Depending on how we have learned to work through these areas, we typically do figure it out on our own.  In some cases however, after several months or years of struggling we may find ourselves stuck, overwhelmed, and completely discouraged.  It is during these times that a fresh perspective from a trained therapist can be helpful.  Talking with a therapist creates the potential to see other possibilities and shift directions in order to face the challenge with hope and a clear path to resolutions.   

Isn’t talking to my buddy (friend, mom, girlfriend, wife, pastor, priest, co-worker) the same?  They know where I’m coming from. 

The short answer:  No, it isn’t the same. They know where you are coming from based on how they know you.  The long answer: Their perspective is through their own lens and in the capacity of that uniquely specific relationship and their own position as a friend, pastor, lover, fill in your own blank.  Yes, it’s true that they may know you better than a stranger.  However, their knowledge of you is based on their experience with you and is colored by time spent with you.  Think about how each person in your life knows parts of you and none of them know what the others fully know through their experience.  A therapist starts out “not knowing” and continues to take that position to understand your concerns based on your descriptions.  They should remain unbiased even as the story of your life unfolds within the therapeutic relationship.  This allows for new possibilities to crystallize and forgotten solutions to rise to the surface. 

How do I know my therapist won’t tell anyone what I’m talking about? 

Confidentiality between a client and the therapist is one of the principle guidelines within the therapeutic relationship.  It allows you access to a safe place to unpack your personal issues. You have a right to confidentiality and it should never be jeopardized or broken except in a few specific cases.  These times include if you disclose possible harm to yourself or others (especially children or the elderly).  In these types of cases we have a legal responsibility to report this.  The other time a therapist must disclose information is when served with a criminal court subpoena.  In any of these specific cases, your therapist will only disclose the information that is absolutely pertinent to the issue at hand. 

Another unique aspect of confidentiality that should be clear is within couples’ therapy.  Because the concept of trust is crucial within a relationship, Tony will not keep secrets from either partner.  Information that one partner reveals to the therapist in any format is not considered confidential from the other partner.  The work done in therapy must begin on the right path and your therapist cannot be a barrier by keeping secrets from the other.  If you feel it needs to be kept private from your partner then carefully consider how this will impact the value of the work you will be doing in therapy. 

Finally, as a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, I am required to abide by a Code of Ethics set out by the American Association of Marriage and Family Therapy as well as the Georgia Association for Marriage and Family Therapy.  There are strict guidelines regarding confidentiality as well as stiff penalties for breaching our client’s trust and exposing personal information. 

Ok, so I’m considering calling for an appointment but still not sure if I can see myself talking to a “therapist”? 

Yes, for some, talking to a therapist is a completely foreign concept. They have never considered it and even coming to this website may feel unnatural.  I’ve worked with men and women even in their 70’s that have never set foot in a therapy office until recently.  If you’re on the fence, consider having a 10-15 minute conversation over the phone to see if therapy would be right for you at this time.  Sometimes we need a little more time or information to take that step. 

I’m convinced that I need to work with a professional therapist.  What can I do to guarantee the results I’m looking for? 

Unfortunately, guaranteed results are never possible.  Successful therapy is dependent on numerous factors unique to each individual.  However, here’s the good news!  I believe if a person begins with an open mind, a desire for change, and a willingness to persevere even when it gets difficult, they begin to notice shifts in their day-to-day lives.  It begins with the thought that you want something different and then you need to take the step, keep moving forward with that thought leading you. 

What happens if I don’t click with my therapist?  Do I have to continue? 

Definitely not.  From the very first conversation, we will discuss your concerns and review how I’ll work with you regarding the issues you want help with.  You are never obligated to continue with a therapist no matter how short or long you’ve worked with him.  Therapy works best when both parties agree they are a good fit.  As the therapist, I want to ensure I am the best person for the problem and can be fully present with you.  If I have any doubts, I will be sure to let you know immediately so we can find someone who would be better suited to help you.  I know many well-qualified and helpful therapists in the area.  On the other hand, if you have doubts about my services, please let me know immediately so we can talk about it to determine what we should do next.  And…by the way, even if you’ve been to therapy before and “it didn’t work”, not every therapist is the same.  Keep looking until you find the one that fits your needs. 

Can you tell me a little more about how it works? 

Therapy is different for each person.  I have created a page specifically devoted to focus a little more in depth about the process.  I believe the more information you have about therapy the better chance your anxiety will decrease.  Many times the fear of the unknown keeps us stuck.  Go here now to read about how I work with clients. 

How long will I need to go? 

That’s really hard to answer.  Sometimes I find that the simple act of scheduling an appointment has a restorative effect.  It doesn’t make the problem go away but it may begin to allow the anxiety to shrink giving the person room to think and breathe.  Once therapy begins, we will usually meet weekly to begin with and assess it at the end of each session.  Therapy can be as short as a single session or as long as months to years of counseling for the deeper and long-term issues.  Once clients begin to manage better, some prefer to adjust sessions to every other week or once per month.  I will ensure we check in with each other frequently because I believe communication with my clients is very important.   

Can I bring someone with me even if they’re not family? 

Yes, this is definitely possible.  In fact, as a Marriage and Family Therapist, I encourage the client to bring in anyone they feel can help them as they walk through this challenging time.  The person doesn’t have to be family.  There may be times when I may request that we meet without the other individuals if we need to focus on something crucial but I will be sure to let you know beforehand. 

I’m a female but it sounds like you only work with men.  Can you still see me?  

While I do tend to focus my work on men, I am fully capable and willing to work with women as well.  Many Marriage and Family Therapists are considered “systemic therapists”. This simply means the relationships in our lives are overlapping and integrated.  We do not understand people as The Problem but the problem is within the contextual framework of relationships.  I imagine if you have found your way to my site, there is something you saw or read that has spoken to you directly.  I would be glad to talk with you to see how I can help.  Please contact me today. 

Do you work with children? 

While I do not work with children individually, I do work with the parents regarding childhood issues.  It is my belief that the parents have the best understanding of the situation and, therefore, will be best suited to engage in the therapeutic relationship most effectively.  I will see adolescents that are at least 16-years-old with a parent’s consent.   

If you prefer a counselor that works primarily with children, I do know many therapists in the area that are well suited to work with your child if that’s your preference.  Please contact me for a reference. 

I know someone taking medications and it seems to help them.  Why can’t I just do that? 

Medications can be helpful and even recommended in some cases. However, they treat the symptoms and not the deeper, more complex issues found in relationships and life problems.  As we begin to work together, we can have that conversation to see if medication should be used in conjunction with therapy.

What is a Marriage and Family Therapist (MFT) and how is it different from the other types of counselors? 

A Marriage and Family Therapist may approach a client’s problem by viewing it within the context of the client’s life or their ‘system’.  This includes their interactions while at home, school, work, or wherever they find themselves struggling.  MFTs do not see the person as the problem but the ‘problem as the problem’.  In other words, the distress comes up within the client’s life when there is a splintering in the social or relational system.

There are many professional fields that focus on helping people through difficult times.  For example, there are Marriage and Family Therapists, Counselors, Social Workers, Psychologists, Psychiatrists, etc.  The list of designations within each field gets more confusing…LMFTs, LAMFTs, LCSWs, LMSWs, LPCs, LPCCs and the list goes on.

Each field is highly trained and required to complete a rigorous process through licensing in their appropriate state.  How each field is trained varies in how they “see” the problem and work through it with their clients.  Of course, we can expect that every therapist and counselor infuses their own unique flavor based on their own experience, understanding of how change occurs, and their own personality.

What’s important is that the client must feel comfortable with the person they choose to meet with.  Tony encourages anyone to call and talk to the therapist first.